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Quebrei tantas vezes o meu coração que, hoje, o dano parece irreparável. Acho que ainda sinto as cicatrizes, o medo de tentar novamente, de ser eu mais uma vez.
É difícil quando a gente se entrega por inteiro, como se o nosso corpo já não respondesse aos próprios instintos de sobrevivência, ao medo, à vergonha.
Como se a única química real que pudesse existir fosse aquela entre mim e você.
Infelizmente, você se foi. E eu fiquei.
Há algum tempo, eu estava me sentindo mal pelo simples fato de ser eu: sozinho, quieto, preso no meu próprio mundo e esquisito.
Saí à rua e, enquanto caminhava pelo centro da cidade, um rapaz ficou me encarando. Susto? Atração? Não sei.
Mas aquilo me fez pensar que talvez eu ainda seja interessante. Que, por trás dessa carcaça velha e cansada de tantas coisas, da política, das pessoas e das mentiras, ainda exista algo que desperte a curiosidade de alguém.
Algo interessante. Ou, quem sabe, assustador.
Observando os relacionamentos alheios e aprendendo junto com eles, acho que sou meio que um ímã de vivências alheias.
Mas aprendi muito nesse processo, viu?
Só que tem uma coisa que ainda não aprendi: e se a música parar? O que sobra? E se o assunto morrer? Teremos ao menos uma sílaba para expressar alguma coisa?
E se você conhecer outra pessoa? Serei eu o único responsável pelos meus sentimentos?
Tantas perguntas. Nenhuma resposta.
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Fazendo as mesmas coisas.
Em outro lugar.
Não é a mesma coisa.
Sem você lá.
Para quem vou olhar e observar.
O fluxo da sua respiração.
Sem você notar.
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